As the daughter of a nurse and a safety officer, I'd like to think I know a thing or two about injury and illness prevention.  When it comes to cold and flu season, I'm especially vigilant because I do not have time to be sick (and I'm sure you don't either).  So behold, a few tips I have to avoid germs and stay your healthiest all year.

Image Source:  Comedy Central

 

Hand sanitiser is my life.

Image Source:  E!

I have hand sanitiser in my purse, my room, my car, my bathroom and my desk at work.  I use it all the time because it's necessary.  I also buy it in bulk, because I'm fiscally responsible.

 

I use it after touching anything on the bus.

Image Source:  NBC

Have you seen what people do on the bus?!  You don't even want to know the things I've seen.

 

I use it after filling up the petrol tank.

Image Source:  Bravo

Did you know those things rarely get cleaned?  You touch it and then you get in your car and touch everything in there, your face, your phone, your bag ... eeewwwww.

 

I use it after shaking hands.

Image Source:  Fox

No offence, but I don't know you or where you've been.

 

Public restrooms are my nightmare.

Image Source:  Nickelodeon

Bathrooms are havens for germs.  I don't even use public bathrooms if I can get away with it.

 

I use my foot to flush.

You should absolutely not be using your hand to touch the flusher in a public restroom.  People have pooped and then touched that.  Do you want to touch their poop?!

 

I put the toilet seat down BEFORE flushing (if possible).

Image Source:  Cartoon Network

If I can't, then I hold my breath.  Why?  Three words:  flying fecal matter.  I don't want to inhale your sh*t.  No way.

 

I get out of the bathroom like this.

Image Source:  Comedy Central

Any of these ways is acceptable.  Touching the handle and not sanitising is not.

 

I don't bring anything I plan on consuming into the bathroom with me.

Image Source:  NBC

That stuff is going into my mouth and everything in a bathroom needs to stay the hell away from my mouth.

 

When it comes to my house, the nastiness stays outside.

Image Source:  Paramount Pictures

There is a map that shows how likely you are to step in poop in San Francisco and it's really freaking gross.  Action has to be taken to keep my home safe.

 

I immediately change into clean clothes when I get home.

Image Source:  Warner Bros.

I do not sit on my bed in them and I do not wander around the house in them.  I get them away from me and my sanctuary.

 

I immediately take off my shoes when I get home.

Image Source:  Fox

I don't even touch the bottoms, ever.  See poop map mentioned a few slides ago.

 

I clean off my phone because it's one of the grossest things I own.

Image Source:  Warner Bros.

Phones are gross.  They've done studies.  Scrub.  Them.

 

I use hand wipes to clean off my purse.

Image Source:  Disney

Because it's been out with me and ew.

 

Trust me when I say I have seen how gross people are.

Image Source:  AMC

Please generally stay away from me if you're gross.

 

I hold my breath when people sneeze.

Image Source:  TLC

Way too many people don't even bother to cover their mouth or nose when they sneeze.  I don't need to breathe your germy particles, thank you very much.

 

I don't get anything out of a bulk bin if it's just sitting out in the open.

Image Source:  NBC

People stick their hands all up in bulk bins.  So no bulk candy, nuts, rice, etc. for me because I'm not interested in basically licking your hands.

 

I refuse to use public water fountains.

Image Source:  NBC

This happens.  People do this.  With their mouths.  *cringe*

 

This has been a public service announcement.  Stay clean.

Image Source:  Comedy Central

Please and thank you.

Think that your obsession with Disney and passion for the gym only go together in your dreams?  Guess again.  All these hysterical Disney memes offer the perfect dose of funny fitness for your afternoon.  You'll be inspired to hit the gym after scrolling through this Internet gold!

 

1. Our Kind of Ending

Image Source:  Instagram user becfrick3

 

2. I've Got Priorities

Image Source:  Instagram user krissyb_xo

 

3. Just Keep Lifting

Image Source:  Instagram user amymurphsfit

 

4. It Works

Image Source:  Instagram user chilingurl

 

5. Every.  Single.  Time.

Image Source:  Instagram user justsomefitgirl

 

6. Speak Your Truth

Image Source:  Instagram user trainwithrene_

 

7. New Gams

Image Source:  Instagram user chilingurl

 

8. Culture Shock

Image Source:  Instagram user fitnessprincessxtiana

 

9. Typecasting

Image Source:  Instagram user lauraroarah

 

10. Rookie Mistakes

Image Source:  Instagram user fitdisneymom

 

11. Wise Words From Wonderland

Image Source:  Instagram user betz_gonz_1226

 

12. Seriously Sore

Image Source:  Instagram user sunnysocalmommy

 

13. Go Wild

Image Source:  Instagram user fitnessprincessxtiana

 

14. Listen to Your Elders

Image Source:  Instagram user steph___ford

 

15. A Real Prince Charming

Image Source:  Instagram user slimwithsteph

We might not buy bologna anytime soon, but we got a serious laugh from Oscar Mayer's newest video that pokes fun at hot boutique fitness classes.  Oscar Mayer invited trendy New Yorkers to get a sneak peek at a fake workout, appropriately named "FRIQ" (pronounced "freak"), where an overzealous instructor led students through a number of bizarre activities such as engaging their tongues, pretending to be bears in cages, wrapping themselves in bubble wrap, and so much more.  The instructor's crazy vibe, the unconventional activities, and the disgusting-looking FRIQ Fuel beverage offered at the end of the workout remind us a lot of the weird things we've tried in the name of hot fitness trends.

 

We're not sure whether Taylor Swift's limbs have seen the inside of a CrossFit gym, but the crew from Average Joe's CrossFit in Florida paid homage to her popular tune while showing off all the strong bodies sculpted inside their box.  Whether you're a CrossFit regular or simply curious about what happens during a WOD (workout of the day), you'll get a kick out of this "Blank Space" parody.  From kettlebells to burpees to, yes ... even puking, this video explains all.

 

There must be something in the air coming from Comic-Con 2015, because a man used some serious Jedi mind tricks to prevent this gymnast from falling off a balance beam after her wobbly landing.  It's a man who many Imgur users are calling Mace Windu after this amazing GIF was posted with the title, "Thanks Mace!"  While we're not actually sure when this brilliant occurrence took place, one thing is certain:  this man is pure magic.  Also, this provides the perfect opportunity for the ultimate Star Wars and Harry Potter mashup!  Just take a cue from some of the commenters:

"Pictured outside of frame:  Snape is muttering counter charms."

"The emperor was on the opposite side using the force to push her over."

"I KNEW he didn't die a long time ago, in a galaxy far away, off a high rise building."

"And then we have Quirrell somewhere, doing his thing."

"Hermione can be seen running up the stairs to set his sh*t on fire."

Image Source:  Warner Bros.