Reasons Running Is the Worst

It's so simple, they told me. Just put one foot in front of the other, they said. And in a way, they were right. When I go for a run I don't have to find a parking spot or reserve my stationary bike ahead of time or fight for a good place to set up my yoga mat in a crowded class. I never have to worry about a lame instructor or bad music or being totally upstaged by the girl with the perfectly messy bun and the on-point Lululemon outfit. It's just me, my running shoes, and the path ahead of me. So sure, in that sense it is simple. But it's still the worst, and here's why.

1. It's freaking hard.

At spin or barre class, I can always push myself knowing that change is coming. We switch from the hill-climb simulation to a low-resistance drill, or we shake out our legs and pick up some weights. Just when I think I'm at my limit, there's some relief. When running and my legs are burning, though, and I'm panting like an asthmatic polar bear, you know what comes next? JUST. MORE. RUNNING. It's relentless.

2. It makes for terrible selfies.

If a workout is completed without photographic proof, does it even count? Barely. But even if you have your cutest running outfit on and your ponytail is day-old perfection, there is always the problem of your face. Your red, sweaty, exhausted face (see number 1, above). It's not the cutest selfie material at the moment. Maybe you can try for a far-away action shot, but that's going to require a selfie stick or a self-timer function and a flat surface, which just seems like an awful lot of work when you're already feeling like you might pass out any moment.

3. It has no chill.

When the spin instructor tells us to set the bike resistance to an 8-out-of-10 perceived difficulty level, we can always take into consideration that we didn't sleep very well last night and we accidentally had a doughnut for breakfast and maybe that twinge in our quad is the beginning of an injury, so this slow-ish, easy-ish pace is totally an eight today. Yup, this definitely feels like today's eight. Running, though? Running wants us to run three miles. Or 30 minutes. Or five sets of stairs. There's no room for negotiating the terms or fibbing the distance. Three miles is always three miles, even if we had a doughnut for breakfast. Running is brutally honest.

4. It always wants to talk about your feelings.

And not in the fun, chit-chatty, gossipy way. Even with a rockin' playlist blowing up your earbuds, there's just something about being alone out there on the running path that makes the mind wander. There's no instructor to focus on, no neighbor to keep up with, no reps to count. It's just you and your thoughts out there, and running doesn't even have the courtesy to buy you a drink first.

5. It's addictive.

Sure, it's hard and sweaty and it might make you cry, but it's also kind of freeing and empowering, and it makes you feel like a badass. You used to only be able to run one mile. Then one day you can run two, and you wonder if you could do three, which is basically a 5K. So you enter your first 5K and you wonder what comes next. Running always keeps you coming back to see what's next.

I could go on about how much I hate running, how it's boring and hard and makes my nose run, but I have to go meet my friend. To go for a run. Because I'm currently training for a marathon. Damn you, running!

Image Source: Morningstar Photography

Posted by Richard J. Wood on Wednesday 25 January 2017

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Emotional Stages of Working Out First Thing in the Morning

There's two kinds of people in this world — those who go to the gym first thing in the morning and those who haven't completely lost their minds. Let's face it: it's not easy squeezing in a sweat sesh every day, much less before your brain is even fully awake. Maybe you forego that extra hour of sleep in the morning to hit the gym so that you can be the epitome of health. Or maybe you're striving to complete a marathon. Or maybe you swore that this would be the year that you would finally show off chiseled abs. Or maybe it's really just so you can justify that nightly bowl of ice cream. But whichever it may be, it's your own personal goals that get you to leave your warm bed. Hey, not all heroes wear capes ... some wear Nikes and tights.

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1. Hearing your dreaded alarm go off before the sun has even come up.

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I mean, how much do I really want a hot body anyway?

2. Getting pumped on the drive over.

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There's nothing like listening to "Shots" by LMFAO at 5 a.m.

3. Giving yourself a pep talk as you walk inside.

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The pre-workout is starting to kick in.

4. Scanning into the gym and the person at the desk tells you to "Enjoy your workout!"

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Enjoy my workout? ENJOY MY WORKOUT? EnJoY mY wOrKoUt?!?!?! *sobbing emoji*

5. Exchanging head nods with your fellow early-risers.

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You're all not sure if you're there that early because you love yourself or hate yourself.

6. Seeing someone who actually looks halfway decent this early.

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You have a lot of nerve.

7. Fighting the urge to move treadmills when someone gets on the one directly next to you.

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The. Gym. Is. Empty. Why. Are. You. Next. To. Me.

8. Daydreaming about how amazing you're going to look with this a.m. routine.

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Your ex is going to be SO sorry.

9. Finishing cardio like you’re not internally dying.

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Couples who say that they "met at the gym" are totally lying. Who would want to meet anyone looking like this?!

10. Spotting someone who didn't wipe down their machine after using it.

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It's too early for this.

11. Pushing to finish those last few reps on a weight machine.

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Most of the motivation here is knowing that a shower and food awaits.

12. Leaving the gym knowing you accomplished something before most people have even woken up.

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Psssh, that was easy.

Posted by Richard J. Wood on Wednesday 25 January 2017

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100 Years of Workout Style in 3 Minutes

After watching this video, all I can say is I'm glad it's 2016, the year of comfy leggings, adorable strappy loose-fitting tops, and most importantly, no shiny, thong leotards. Check out Cassey Ho of Blogilates as she shows off how fitness fashion (and equipment) have changed from 1910 to today.

Posted by Richard J. Wood on Wednesday 25 January 2017

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CrossFit Quotes

If CrossFit is a necessity to your existence, just like breathing, eating, and sleeping, these quotes will speak volumes of truth to you.

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Posted by Richard J. Wood on Tuesday 24 January 2017

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Funny Quotes About Pizza and Weight Loss

Hot, gooey, greasy, cheesy, addictively delicious pizza. Why?! Why do you taste so damn good?! You call to me at all hours of the day and make it impossible to stop at just one slice. If pizza is the reason you're having a tough time losing weight, these Instagram pics will sound all too true.